Who is he ????

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit,sucked,
swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,...



BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!

Lun ya Ghotna

Ek bar ek sadhu maharaj Parvachan kar rahe the k Apne se Badi Aurat ko Maa, Chhoti ko Beti aur Barabar wali ko Behn Samjho. Issi beech ek Sardar ji uth kar bole “Maharaj ji to phir ye Lun v aap hi rakho. Jadi Booti Kootne ke Kaam Aayega.

Sexy Poetry

Raat ki tanhai me, mai baithi thi akeli
Itne me padosh ke ek ladke ki awaz aai
Aa jao mere paas ghar me koi nahi
Mai kuch sharmai ghabrai
Aur ithlate hui uske paas gai
Usne dhire se ghod me uthaya
Aur bade pyar se bed par sulaya
Sari ka palla giraya
Blouse kholkar bra sarkaya
Besaram ne jhat se mamme ko
Apne mouth me ghusaya
Jhor se daato se mamme ko dabaya
Aur doodh kisi me nahi
Maine kaha mai chudwane aai hu
Maine kaha mai tere bacche ki ma nahi
Phir usne apni anguli
Meri chud me ghusai
Mai jor se chilla padi
Arre Boka choda yeh meri chud hai
Koi hodh nahi
Uska loda bhi ho gaya
Puri tarah khada
Maine bhi use chum kar
Liya bada maja
Kaha usne ab bekarar na karo
Lund ko chud me jane do
Lekin mai thodi itrai
Itni jaldi kya hai
Bus abhi turant to mai aai
Mai le rahi thi ish nok-jhok ka maja
Itne me sale ne meri
Gaand me ghusa diya lauda
Mai jor se chillai
Phir lagi masti aane
Usne phir pyar se dekhte huye
Kaha mai abhi bhi pyasa hu
Pyas meri bujha de re
Ab jyada der na kar
Lund ko chud se mila de re
Mai bhi thi ab uske lund
Ke liye Bekarar
Maine bhi kaha, Jaan
Ab chud hai tere hawale sanam
Chod le ise mauka nai milega aisa phir
Usne bhi jhat apna lund
Mere chud me gaad diya
Maine bhi iska bahut luft liya
Chud ne ka accha andaz tha
Yeh mere jivan ka pehla ahsas tha
Jo bhi ho
Yeh bada khas tha

Corporate Lesson

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her

Shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over

which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly

wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the

door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 just to drop that

towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops

her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and

quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up

in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her

husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes

me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent

avoidable exposure!

Tit For Tat

A GIRL GOES OUT OF TOWN WITH HER BF FOR DATE.
WELL THEY ENJOYED SEX OUTSIDE THE TOWN.
THE GIRL TELL THE BOY I FORGET TO TELL U
THAT I AM ACTUALLY PROSTITUTE
AND CHARGE RS.200 FOR SINGLE.
THE BOY GAVE HER THE MONEY SHE ASKED FOR.
THE BOY GET SIT IN HIS CAR.
THE GIRL COME ALONG WITH HIM AND SIT IN CAR.
THE BOY ASK YES MADAM.
GIRL SAID.. LET GET BACK TO TOWN NA..
THE BOY SAID OH I FORGET TO TELL U
THAT I AM TAXI DRIVER AND I WILL CHARGE RS.250 FOR TOWN.

How to Fool Barber

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, " How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.

The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house."

Chicken Story (mind blowing climax)

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.

Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.

Young cock : O.K. What kind of competition?

Old cock: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.

Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.

Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

Cool-Cool Sardarji....

Sardar at bar in New York.

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

--------------------------------------------

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.

Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Sardar thinks "how poetic"

Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

--------------------------------------------

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k

Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?

how much is DRIVING salary...?

--------------------------------------------

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

--------------------------------------------

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"

Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Punjabi tera baap!!!"

--------------------------------------------

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

--------------------------------------------

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?

Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?

Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..

--------------------------------------------

Amitab : In which state kaveri flows?

Sardar : liquid state.....

Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..

Sum More SARDARJI....

On honeymoon Night, the groom Santa Singh lights up a match stick near wife's pussy.
Wife: Why did u do this?
Santa: Dosto ne kaha ki pehle achchhi tarah Garam karma

---------------------------------------
Gal to Santa : Kya main Apki Nakal Maar Loon ?
Santa : Maar Le, Maar Le, Phir Main Teri Asal Marooga!!!!
----------------------------------------

Teacher : Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?

Santa : Miss agar aap road pay billi ki tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayegaâ

-------------------------------
In a crowded bus , Girl : excuse me brother that's my seat.

Santa : Ok, but im not ur brother, my father never fuck ur mother.

Girl : But my father did.

---------------------------------

Teacher explain "Responsibility with example"?
Santa : Madam ur blouse have 4 buttons, out of which 3 r open,
the entire responsibility is to open the 4th button also.
-------------------------------------------------

Some Cool Sardarji Jokes

Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

------------------------------------

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

------------------------------------

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler

------------------------------------

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

------------------------------------

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

------------------------------------

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement
day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

------------------------------------

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright

Be careful abuot chillderns....

Kid saw his mom messing with make up on her face & she said: Shit. when Kid asked: What is Shit ? Mom: it is 2nd word for Makeup.

then he saw his sister talking on phone abt Condoms. Kid asked her: what is a Condom ? Sister: Its 2nd word for Clothes.

Then Kid saw his father was cutting a chicken. when he cuts his finger & said Fuck, Kid asked: what is fuck ? Father: its 2nd word for Cutting.

Suddenly door bell rang Kid opened the door & his grandma came in & asked: where is every1 ?

Kid: Mom is upstairs putting shit on her face, Sister is putting condoms on & Daddy is Fucking the Chicken...

Something about "WOMEN"

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding

If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy

If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

She is a womanIf you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring

If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So damning, yet so wonderful
So confusing, yet so desirable... ...

Give Me a Kissssssssssss

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a
little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at
her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ......... .......

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you .. "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's
older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a
sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's
sake and all of ours....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"