December 28, 2008

SMS of the Day

BHARTIYA BIWIAN apne PATI ko
" A.G." kahkar kyun bulaati hain ??
Kyunki Hamaari BIWIAN
SANSKAARI hoti hain
Bharey Bazaar me
" ABEY GADHEY "
BOLKAR
Sabke Saamne PATI ka "ASLI NAAM "
lekar nahi bulaati hain.

December 27, 2008

Vishesh Suchna

EK VISESH SUCHNA :SEX karte samay
agar CONDOM na miley toh " M-SEAL "
ka istemaal kijiye kyunki :- " EK BOOND
AAPKI ZINDAGI BADAL SAKTA HAI ".

English Girl

Banta's wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week, company training session. Banta drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

Preeto answers, 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'

Banta laughs and says, 'An English girl !!!

Preeto kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later Banta picks her up in the airport and asks, 'So, honey, how was the trip?'

'Very good, thank you.'

'And, what happened to my present?'

'Which present?'

'What I asked for, the English girl?!'

Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!!

Aunty Ka Dildo

k aunty holland say INDIA utarti hain...custom wala(ek buzurg)usay suitcase kholnay ko boltaa hai...suitcase kholtay hee usmay say rubber ka l**d(dildo) nikal aata hai...
custom officer : "aapki shaadi ho gai?"
aunty : "10 saal ho gaye"
custom officer : "aapkay pati kahaan hain?"
aunty : "holland may"
custom officer(dildo haath may lekar) : "pati hai toh fir ye kya hai?"

aunty(aankh maartay hue) : "aray sir vo FIXED LANDLINE hai aur ye MOBILE"

Today's Joke: Sarva Guna Sampanna Kanya

The Young Brahmin asked, "Is it true, that your daughter has all the good qualities and pleasing looks ?"

The old brahmin answered, "Haan! More that that, she is Sundara Vati and Padma Vati !"

"But, can she cook and keep house ?" Asked the young man.
"Oh yes, she is Dharma Vati!" answered the old man.

"Now, can she sew? asked the young man.
"Oh yes . . . . yes, she can not only sew, but she is Kala Vati ! "answered the old man.

"What about her education?" asked the young man.
"She is Vidya Vati !" answered the old man.

And the Vedas ? " asked the young man.
"Oh yes . . . . yes, she is Veda Vati !" answered the old man.

The young man is very happy to find the perfect bride and gets married to her.

Two days later, he comes back with his newly married bride in town. The old Brahmin is surprised. He asks, " What happened, my son?" Why do you look so upset ?

The young man says, " Well sir, you told me that your daughter is already a Sundara Vati, Padma Vati, Dharma Vati, Kala Vati, Vidya Vati and a Veda Vati ? "

"Yes, my son - I certainly did " replies the old man.

But Sir - you forgot to tell me that, she is also already a 'Garbha Vati'

December 18, 2008

Makhan Baba

Ek aurat ka pati marr gaya, pati ko mare hue 2 saal ho gaye the, bechari ki Chooth mein aag lagi rehti thi. kabhi ungli ghusaati toh kabhi mooli , par Chooth ki aag nahin bhujh paati thi.

ek saheli ko apna dard bataya toh saheli use Makhan Baba ke paas le gayi.

baba ne ek lund prakat kiya aur ush aurat ko de diya. aur kaha jab bhi mann kare l und ko haath mein leke bolna " yeh kya hai ? " bas lund activate ho jaayega aur teri c hoot ki aag bhujha diya karega.

bas phir kya tha , aurat daudi daudi ghar gayi. darwaja band kiya aur lund haath mein leke boli " yeh kya hai? " .

lund activate hua aur 2 feet lumba tann gaya.

uski Chooth ka chittorgarh bana diya.

aurat toh maare khusi ke naachne lagi.

roz subah-shaam darwaja band karti aur lund haath mein leke bolti "yeh kya hai " aur lund use poore maze deta.

uski ek beti thi, use shak hua ki maa roz darwaja band karke kya karti hai, keyhole se jhaanka toh dekha maa almari mein kuchh rakh rahi thi.

maa ke jaate hi beti ne almari kholi aur lundd haath mein leke boli " yeh kya hai ? "


lund ne jaisi hi suna beti ki Chooth mein ghush gaya, beti bhi roz maze lene legi .

maa ko shak hua ki beti kya karti hai darwaja band karke, keyhole se jhaanka toh dekha beti ne makhan baba wala lundd apni choot mein ghusa rakha tha.

maa rone lagi, sochne lagi ki yeh maine kya kar diya.

agle hi din makhan baba ke paas gayi aur boli, baba ise password protected bana do.

makhan baba dhyan mein magan the, aankhein band thi.

bole kya protected karna hai, maa boli "yeh jo aapne diya tha baba "

baaba ne kaha mere haath par rakh do , maa ne lund makhan baba ke haath par rakh diya.

makhan baba dhyan mein magan the, aankhein band thi. makhan baba bole " yeh kya hai ? "

December 04, 2008

Bablu and Pappu

There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),
with a genius boy (Bablu)
and a smart one (Pappu).

The dialogue between the two and the teacher goes something like this:
Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?

Teacher: Thinking.... ...
Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"

Bablu: "Kyon?"

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab log uspe chadte hain."

Teacher is pareshan. While Bablu gets in doubt.

Bablu: "Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hain to uske bacche kyon

nahin hote?"

Teacher is more pareshan.

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab us par peeche se chadte hain."

Teacher is now hiding her face. Bablu gets into another doubt.
Bablu: "Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver aur conductor to

aagay se chadte hain. Phir bachche kyon nahin hote?" Teacher is

sweating as it is getting too much to handle.
Pappu replies: "Kyon ki woh dono topi pehanke chadte hain."

Teacher faints !!!!!!!